Everybody gotta work it out... Herve gives you 'Cheap Thrills'...

Me in a bad jean-short/visor/sweat-soaked-combo with my friend the legendary Larry Tee

SO here's a fun post where I get to tell you guys about a great memory. I mean a great memory. And I get onto Herve starting his own label... Trust me it will all tie together...

Ok. For those of you who have been reading for the last year, you may remember me telling you about all the fun that was had in Miami during the Winter Music Conference... alas, I will not be going this year, BUT all the awesome shit that happened last year makes up for it.

SOOOOOOO... the last day of the 'conference', Sunday, was a pretty down day. My partner was totally worn out from the whole week and not trying to deal with the world. I had some new found friends call me out to kick it at Remix Hotel insuring me they had badges lying around and I wouldn't have to pay. At the end of the afternoon I found myself standing on Collins waiting for Anya (aka Womso... the only girl I've never slept with who almost ended my relationship doing nothing!) to come out and get me because there was a SUPER long line (she was waiting to come out when she knew she could sneak booze back in)... while I'm standing there waiting my buddy Curt Autobot (of Flosstradamus fame) just happens to walk down the street after having just flown from SXSW...

...so I tap him on the shoulder and he's like "Yeah, dude, I'm so wiped. We've just been moving non-stop. Josh (J2K of Floss) got stranded at some airport, I just met MSTRKRFT like two seconds ago and was too tired to talk, and I'm fucking starving. Everything is just too intense right now and I feel like shit. I gotta get something to eat... walk and talk." So we walk a few blocks down some really crowded area I didn't know existed (really how much of Miami, or rather South Beach, do you see when you go to WMC?) he runs into some people and I begin to feel a little out of place...

...see, Curt and I came up in the same town in Michigan, played the same weird ass warehouses, both went to school in Chicago at the same time, and even worked on songs together for a while... as in we were close enough that I stayed at his house while my roomie and I were finding a place in Chicago... but eventually I moved out of the Chi, which is one of the things that caused us to stop talking/working/hanging out together (we reconnected at Intonation Festival right before Flossy D BLEW UP)... but if you find a copy of my first demo you'll find that Curt's the first person I thank... but frankly you're never gonna find that unless well I dunno you're Larry Tee, or Errol formerly of Astralwerks, but I think I retrieved all the other existing copies!

...so anyway, here I am with my newly anointed "international-jetset-superstar-dj" buddy (he was on the cover of URB that month) walking with his friends I totally don't know and I start to feel weird. I mean REAL weird. He, although very tired, keeps trying to engage me in conversation and I start to become more and more uneasy. I release he's headed somewhere NICE and here I am, Midwestern Retard, dressed in a wifebeater, a black visor, JEAN SHORTS (which trust me I have since given up), sweating like a crack whore in a sauna from nervousness/heat...

...and we arrive at, exactly as I thought, a fucking really nice cafe! And I hesitantly walk in with him ...and I feel the air conditioning hit me and I'm like thinking "Ok, maybe I can hang. I just need to relax." So, the hostess takes us to a table that seats about 12... I can see most of the people have been sitting for a little while, and there are two seats left! Sweet right? So, Curt sits down and I go to join him BUT I suddenly look up and see Naeem Juwan at the other side of the table... I mean, that's probably what you'd call him if you knew him well like Curt does... but to me, my sweaty stupid looking Midwestern ass is staring at Spank Rock... and despite having met him two nights previous at the Turntable Lab party, I knew I couldn't sit around and chill with someone whose CD I listen to like every fucking day... no seriously, I'm man enough to admit I couldn't hang! I was in over my head... Now Benny Blanco is apparently trying to fuck my ex-girlfriend seeing as she "accidentally" sends me emails about it all the time but I digress (I guess go gettem Benny!)...

So I immediately bail and find a slew of mean text messages from Anya about how I left her in line and she saw me walking off and how I was a motherfucker for making her come out for nothing... she was REALLY pissed. I hauled ass back to the Remix Hotel gig and we all danced like retards... or at least I did... I was wearing an inflatable duck on my head...

Then blah blah blah we went to this Oakenfold thing and got past the wait, which despite the fact I don't care for him anymore was really fucking cool to bypass a three hour wait and a velvet rope! PROBLEM was Anya didn't have her ID... I mean I dunno??!? She's Russian! I don't know how that all works... but she couldn't come in with us... so I was there for like 10 minutes and declared "I gotta go to downtown Miami. My friend Curt is playing down there. I'll see you guys next year!"

And off I went. Patrick and Anya drove me to a corner where I knew I could catch a bus and that was that. I took the bus downtown and walked to the venue. It was REALLY fucking tiny and both Curt and Pase Rock were playing... there were like maybe 20 people there and I could tell both of them were like "Who fucking roped me into playing this place on a Sunday night in Miami?"... I went to talk to Curt but he was going on and... what was I going to do? Hang out with Pase Rock? Nope nope nope nope... I listen to Five Deez and his solo shit quite a bit so that's not happening. Some people I can do that with and some people I can't (that's kind of where this story is heading). So I stand in a corner and slowly make my way backwards to the bar. I figured "Hey, I'm gross, out of place, still wearing an ill advised beater and a visor, and I probably just need to go home. Just like earlier. Blah."

So I depart from this bar that is JUST far away from the bus station to be scary. There are literally crack heads walking around like zombies and then start coming closer to me. Every time I look over my shoulder they get closer, every time I speed up so do they! As I think I'm about to get dragged into the crackhead underworld a silver two door comes speeding up to my side, the door flings open and who is it other than my mentor Larry Tee!

He says "Do you know where Karu & Y is?", without even looking up at me.

To which I said "Larry, I'll get you there but you've got to take me with you!"

When he looked up and saw it was me, he leaned forward, I jumped in the back of the two door and we ran off to this club...

...which was the greatest thing ever because Larry didn't play which meant we got to hang out all night. Top five best nights of my life ever and I was totally sober. Amazing. I could tell you all about it again but I think I did last year.

Anyway, it comes time for the night to end and Kevin (Larry's friend and assistant) drops Larry off, and then goes to drop my ass of (because it's SO not safe to take the bus that late). Kevin turns to me and says "Have you heard the song?"

"What song?"

"Have you heard the song he did with Concetta? Off Larry's Sampler that he gave you?" (FYI: Concetta is Princess Superstar)

"Well, no, because he just gave me I copy. He hasn't had them on him all week because I always see him when he's relaxing or it's the end of the night."

"Holy fuck. You have to hear this..."

AND THIS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IS WHERE THE STORY TIES BACK TO HERVE! We're driving down the highway at god-knows-what-o-clock and I'm hearing "Gettin' low low on the ground" thinking "Awwww fuck. This is why Larry is a fucking genius." And then Kevin goes "Hold on, I gotta turn it up." And then I hear...

"L-i-Licky-c-k-Licky-y-L-i-Licky-c-Licky-k-y"

AND THEN A BASS LINE AND A SYNTH THAT MAKE THE EARTH SHAKE. Which of course resulted in my jaw hitting the floor. And Kevin goes "I know right? This is the Herve remix... it's so fucking good". That drive back to my hotel on 72nd was fucking amazing... best WMC ever... how can you top moments like that? I waltzed into the hotel at like 5am and said "Hey, Electroboy, guess what you just missed out on?"... (FYI: Electroboy is Larry's nickname for Sam)... and, of course, he knew he realllllly missed out... especially if my lame ass is coming home at 5am because I'm usually in bed by 10pm lol...

When he finally got to hear the Herve remix the next day we were like "How did we ever end up in the position where we have a copy of this before everyone else?"... sometimes you're just lucky I guess...

AND today my friends you are luck too because I'm gonna get you hooked up with some good shit fer reals... here's the info on Herve's new label...

New label launched by Joshua ‘Hervé' Harvey aka The Count

Featuring new releases by all the alter ego’s and new talent including Action Man, Voodoo Chilli and Detboi

The Count & Sinden’s “Beeper” released in the UK on Domino Records on 24th March 2008

The Count & Sinden debut album out in summer 2008

www.MySpace.com/hervespace

www.MySpace.com/thecountofmontecristal

Maybe this is "DJ snobby" of me but errrr hasn't "Beeper" been the hottest shit on wax for 12 months? How is it JUST getting released? PLEASE tell me this doesn't have to do with red tape from Star Trak (seeing as the vocal is from a FamLay song... I jumped on his back once... but that's a different story for a different place... it's been easier to explain that story since the "Beeper" song came out)... still just as hot 12 months later though...

ANYWAY... here's the goods kiddo... I tried to keep it as British as possible... so here's a Herve remix of the Chemical Brothers that is fucking soooooooo sick... from 2:30 on it's like a weird Prince song and then the drums are sooooo fucking dope....

Chemical Brothers- "The Salmon Dance (Herve Remix)

And here's a mini mix Herve would like you to have... enjoy.....

The Count of Monte Cristal EP 2 Martelo Mini Mix

So see.. there, you got a fun story where I make an ass out of myself multiple times and we get to hear one of the greatest songs like ever... you wanna hear the Larry Tee song? Go to his Myspace and buy the damn thing... or swap that new Steve Aoki because it's on there with Santogold rapping... I'm not giving it to you for free... sorry kids... hotness... see you soon...

A Return (and some shit talking)

Goldie and me @ Ultra Music Festival


Wanna hear a funny story?

So, I sent an e-mail to Klaxons manager earlier... he had said as we got closer to the Chicago show I should send him an e-mail, and if they had a little extra time I could stop by to say hi.

So I rifled off a little letter and went back to watching Klaxons stuff on YouTube before I went to work (because I'm a big dork like that)...

So, I'm watching a video of them doing their NME tour diary (pt 1) and all of a sudden they're talking about doing liners for radio shows (what a coincidence seeing as they did one for me)...

And then all of a sudden they are, on camera, doing the liner for MY radioshow (fucking mental)!

Now before you keep reading, watch the video... I'd start the video @ 1:01...



"Probably the shittest fucking radio station on earth, isn't it?"...

HUH? Now what are the chances? What are the chances that I would send that e-mail (which had stemmed from them doing a liner for my show) and then I would immediately watch a video of them slagging my station (whilst doing that liner)!

It's all good though... I actually think it's funny... obviously they don't know me, the station, or our show so there is no harm in it... had they said "The guy who does the 'Spirit Of Albion' radio show is a loser who eats cat shit for breakfast" I probably would have had a problem with it... I'm sure it sucks to not have any free time and to have people like me with their hands out asking for something constantly...

I'm going to go so far as to say I actually kind of liked it (don't get me wrong... for the first couple of seconds I was like "What the fuck?!?!") because now thousands of people have heard of our tiny little show and are part of 5 seconds on the Klaxons history! I'll also go so far as to say I'm the biggest Klaxons fan in America so I don't care either way now lol... (BUT, it goes to show you though that you should be careful what you say because you never know who it's going to get back to)

Long story short... I got an email back and their manager said I can pop by for at least a picture... so keep your eyes on this spot for that!

While we are talking about Klaxons... I would like to take it upon myself to start a letter writing campaign to let Rolling Stone know what the fuck is up... they gave "Myths Of The Near Future" a two star rating. Two out of five.... I think the Ashley Simpson album got a better review than this... the review is a catty little snippet that has nothing to do with the band or their music; it's more just a slam on "New Rave"... If you believe in Klaxons let R.S. know they are retards and that they post crappy band wagon hopping bands all day long, and give them good reviews as well, so they shouldn't be talking such shit... here's the review...

On the sliding scale of terrible ideas, a U.K. "New Rave" scene rates somewhere between cat juggling and Studio 60. Until now, the best case you could make for old-school Madchester-era rave was that at least it didn't have any revival potential. But the Klaxons have made a bold entrance with the club hit "Atlantis to Interzone," dressing up in fluorescent wizard robes to chant, "Horses want to dance/But find their wings are damaged!" On Myths, they expand their suspiciously indie-ish rock riffs with tales of centaurs ("4 Horsemen of 2012") and Cyclopses ("Isle of Her"). Glowsticks are go! Or not!

Send it snail mail or go to this link here

But anyway... Sorry I was gone for so long! Miami ended up being more of a handful than I had expected. Granted... it was the most amazing time of my life. But I thought I was going to be able to post "live" from down there and that didn't happen. The hotel where WMC was at this year had internet you had to pay for and the internet at my hotel didn't work.

(If you don't like name dropping I wouldn't keep reading... I don't think I'M that special, but I do think that the people mentioned below are that special)

So I'm sorry I didn't get that info to you guys... but I ended up meeting Matthew Dear, Felix Da Housecat, Spank Rock, Oxy Cottintail, The Presets, BT, Paul Van Dyk, Keoki, Roger Sanchez, George Clinton, Goldie, Carl Cox, Fatboy Slim, Vince Lawrence, Busy P, and a bunch of other people.... we hung out with Crystal Castles, my buddy Curt from Flosstradamus (who is THE COVERSTAR OF THE CURRENT URB MAGAZINE SO Y'ALL MOTHERFUCKERS NEED TO PICK THAT SHIT UP AND SUPPORT MY BOY, YA HEARD?!?!?), and Larry Tee (who has by far the best single I heard at this year's Winter Music Conference called "Licky" featuring his good friend Princess Superstar, remixed by Herve)...


Here's me and Larry @ Karu & Y. He was supposed to play the closing set but Paul Rauhofer decided he wanted to play instead. Don't ask about the outfit... or my facial expression... I was hot... I was sweaty... I'd been dancing... I smelled bad... let's just not talk about it.

Really the most baller part of the whole trip wasn't meeting all these crazy people at Ultra and all these fancy places, it was hanging out with Larry Tee who is the coolest, most down to earth person I've ever met in the music industry.... he (thank god) swooped me up at 3am in downtown Miami and saved me from a bunch of crackhead zombies... I'd met him a few years before at the IDMA's and have talked to him online over the years but actually getting to spend time with him was the highlight of my trip...

Here's a couple more pictures I thought you guys would enjoy...

Here's me and Fatboy Slim


And me and Carl Cox

Let's get into the music... After that we will get back to a long rambling essay on "New Rave", but I'm not going to force you to scroll through it to get to the music... this is the shit I've been enjoying the most recently...

Klaxons- "Atlantis To Interzone (Metronomy Remix)"

Bloc Party- "The Prayer (Phones Full Metal Jackin Remix)"

The Sunshine Underground- "Put You In Your Place (South Central Remix)"

Justice vs Simian- "Never Be Alone (DJ Hell's Bavarian Gigolo Remix)"

M.I.A.- "XR2 (Tigerstyle Remix)"

The Black Ghosts- "Face (Switch Remix)"

Ok, now time for me to weigh in on New Rave...


I was thinking about it more and more recently... and (as I'm sure you already knew) there is no such thing as "New Rave". HOLD ON, HOLD ON. Rewind. There is a New Rave scene but it's not the music... really...

To say it's a media construct is obvious and stupid. But really New Rave is a renewed interested in flourescent colours. And a desire for a new style of rock because the last drop of the Libertines legacy basically hit rock bottom with the Holloways, Milburn, and other bands from that ilk. New Rave came about because white males want to dance but "dance music" is too gay and punk (the other musical genre where people "dance") is too exclusive.

The funniest part about it is that New Rave came from a joke in a Klaxons interview with NME!

New Rave is really just a way to describe rock's "movement" towards dance music (but away from the commercial "trancey pants" end) and away from the "old guard" in British rock music. Now don't get me wrong... I love the old guard... but I only want to hear those types of songs from those bands! I don't want to hear one more band write a fucking Libs song! It's the same thing that happened in the U.S. for years after Nirvana. The "modern rock" scene in the United States is STILL just a stagnant pool of Nirvanawannabes.

So, basically, there is no solid musical thread for New Rave and that's why it doesn't exist. If there truely was roster it would be Klaxons, Shitdisco, Crystal Castles, Datarock, Goose, and CSS but not really. Then on the electronic side you've got Simian Mobile Disco, Justice, Digitalism, and a couple other people.

But that's too few bands so the music press have tried to apply it everywhere. It's kind of how people talk about how there's "something in the water" in Virginia because you've got Missy, Timbaland, and the Neptunes.... but, in all honesty, that's it! Same with "New Rave"...

Are Hot Chip "New Rave"? I don't think so. There are a lot of rock bands that get remixed (and have been for years), and there are a lot of electronic bands or duos or artists who appeal to rock fans. It would be easy to sling the New Rave term around to Chemical Brothers or anyone who's ever gotten an Errol Alkan remix. Primal Scream are the original New Rave band if you follow this logic. Also by this logic The Rakes Phones remix of "Retreat" is the first real New Rave song.

At the end of the day... "New Rave" is a fashion statement about wearing clothes that don't match with bright colours. It's early 90's nostalgia for a pre-9/11 world. It's young kids wanting their own Summer Of Love and people my age wanting to revisit their glory rave days... it's rock music wanting to dance and dance music wanting to rock but.... there is no cohesive whole and it's hard to make a case for it even existing (unless you're trying to sell magazines or records). It's about ten real bands, ten DJs/producers and all of them are so progressive they won't be sounding very New Rave for very long, as they are real artists! New Rave is a way for NME is make lots of money (which is fine because this is what their job is)... New Rave does not exist...

At this point this whole thing is going to collapse or grow out of it's prior constraints and the term won't be applicable... in the meantime shitty as bands like Enter Shikari will fall off, and somewhat more interesting bands like Hadouken! will either make new crazy mutant music or cease to exist... in the meantime bust out the glowsticks and mosh to your hearts content...

The term will not be used again on this blog...

Here's the Dance Your Pants Off Mixtape (which is not strictly British I might add):

The Presets- Are You The One? (Van She Remix)
Gossip- Standing In The Way Of Control (Soulwax Remix)
Justice vs Simian- We Are Your Friends
Klaxons- Gravity's Rainbow (Van She Remix)
Justice- Waters Of Nazareth
Digitalism- TVTV
Simian Mobile Disco- Boat Race
Crystal Castles- Alice Practice
The Futureheads- Worry About It Later (Switch Remix)
The Rakes- Retreat (Phones Remix)
These New Puritans- Elvisss (Demo)
Shitdisco- I Know Kung Fu (James Ford Remix)
Datarock- Fa Fa Fa
Goose- Low Mode
New Young Pony Club- Ice Cream (Van She Remix)
Depeche Mode- Never Let Me Down Again (Digitalism Remix)
Muse- Supermassive Black Hole (Phones Remix)
Forward Russia- Nine (Napoleon IIIrd Remix)
Brakes- All Night Disco Party (Herbert Remix)
Franz Ferdinand- Outsiders (Isolee Remix)
Klaxons- Magick (Simian Mobile Disco Remix)
Editors- All Sparks (Cicada Remix)
Bloc Party- The Prayer (Phones Full Metal Jackin Remix)
Hot Chip- Colours (Fred Falke Remix)
Goose- Low Mode
Dead Disco- City Place
Soulwax- NY Excuse (Justice Remix)
Client feat Pete Doherty- Down To The Underground
Robbie Williams- Lovelight (Soulwax Ravelight Dub)

A great deal of these tracks have been posted on the blog over the last year... most of the people I've talked to in the U.S. (including DJs) don't know shit about all this new music... so this list isn't redundant as you think it is... and a couple people asked for some suggestions so there they are!

P.S. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IF YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE IT IS THE NME DANCEFLOOR DISTORTION CD THAT CAME FREE WITH THE MOST RECENT (November) KLAXONS ISSUE OF NME! It's mixed by Simian Mobile Disco and is one of those CD's you'll listen to in ten years and think "Aw! The good old days all on one cd!"

Also you can click below and get a lot of the songs and bands mentioned at eMusic!